nightclub

question mark?

comic cum din toate minunile care se-ntampla zilele-astea tocmai despre asta simt sa scriu.

nuj ce scriu
pat on the back?
dunno.

dar.

contrast.

I used to want to try. Sometimes I would try.


I know who I am now,
I know who I wanna be.


to an extent

but

in this regard.


the only thing I would find enjoyable
the only thing I could find enjoyable

is observing.

not always,
not everywhere,
but the only thing that piques my interest in the least would be just sitting on the side and watching people interact. noticed it before.noticing again.

i'm no wallflower, by all means. give me something (hm, moment de sinceritate) i can do and i'll gladly do it.

but this
is not something I could do.

I don't know if I would find it enjoyable, because if i would be able to do it, i'd be a different person, and maybe that person would find it enjoyable but

the person I am now does not find it enjoyable.
It does not
pique my interest.

so,
yeah.

dunno what my context is, but i know that one is not.

i do feel like i could barely hold a conversation under normal circumstances,
let alone spontaneous awkward loud places.

a sizeable part of me is not sure i could have a proper conversation under optimal circumstances.
dunno 'bout that.
that's a different story
maybe a story about who I am.

this,
I guess,
is a story about who i'm not, and who i don't wanna be.


in unele contexte, chiar mi-as dori.
chiar as vrea sa-ncerc.
chiar as avea de castigat.

aici cred ca n-am de castigat.
so i don't see it.

sigh

[/rant]