de fapt,
de-aia ma gandesc la ea atat de des
si de-aia ma frustreaza daca da sau nu.

e nevoia de apropiere ce domina.
ma gandesc la ea pentru ca am senzatia ca voi reusi apropierea,
prin multitudinea gandurilor,
sau,
macar,
departarea, care sa permita, in final, o alta apropiere.

am nevoie de apropiere.
need,
i believe,
not want.

de-aia n-am refuzat,
de-aia am gandit-o la 5,
pentru ca posibilitatea de apropiere in 5 imi parea mai placuta decat the prospect of waiting for some true closeness.
i hope i'll make this into closeness.

in the end, my thoughts and my apparent feelings are driven mostly by the need of closeness,
rather than the fact that i like her,

but i do like her.
i would enjoy,
very-enjoy,
her being the one that i'm close to.

i will try,
and i'll try not to try too hard.

if it doesn't work,
it's not the end of the world.


the problem is knowing when it works,
the problem is establishing communication.
maybe that's where i should start.

not sure how,
but that seems to be the it.