Risk aversion - pana nu uit iar

Iască, and unexpected sunbeams and purpose

How do I


I feel like I am not doing worse than last year.

I was just going through the motions there, as I am now.

Doing what I had to do - as I now do what I have to do.

If I had to do something now, I'd do it.

I'd pair up whatever activity with swimming
or with church-ing.

I wasn't reaching further out of my comfort zone then than I am now.


I am not doing worse than in the last 12 months of employment.

My job now,

I feel,

is trying to find a stable hobby, (a stable video game is how I am currently approaching it), then a stable job.

That's what I feel.

I feel like I don't care as much about a hand-to-mouth job, as it does not define me,

Don't care much about living on my own - although I could - because I love these people and I think I'm doing well with them.

I'm looking for stuff to love.

'Feel like there's been a distinct lack of outgoing love from me for the past year or so.

My job was killing me and I was not loving it - that's why I ended up quitting really hard.

'Probably wouldn't mind it if I was loving it.

'Need to get better at this love-giving thingy as well, I guess. Like, I do love some stuff, but I find it easy to focus on what I don't love about it.

Also, like.

I did like solving problems and all. Would probably like conflict management , but probably not love it.

In the love scheme of things, liking (ma gandesc fix acums si s-ar putea sa am dreptate doar fix acum) doesn't quite matter, doesn't pull weight. Doesn't interfere with loving of shouldn't interfere with loving. Corelatie, nu cauzalitate.

Doamne-ajută, anyway. 

Sper c-o duci olea' mai bine la primire decat la expediere.